This plane sure is tiny. Good thing I decided to fly first class. I hope dad doesn't bring it up again. He always brings it up this time of year. I hope he doesn't. I hope this is the year he gives it a rest. I wonder if anyone on this plane recognizes me? That one guy keeps looking back, but I think he's looking for the stewardess. I mean flight attendant. I can't really tell if he's looking at me or not because of those sunglasses. Who wears sunglasses on a plane? I took mine off, and I'm a celebrity for pete's sake. It's just impolite. I should be doing the whole sunglasses-baseball cap thing. I bet that's how terrorists and murderers get on planes without being recognized. Wow. That sounded a lot like dad.
God, I hope i'm not turning into him. He makes people feel so bad inside. Malio doesn't even come visit with me anymore. I wish he would. He's so sweet. I know mom loves him like her own son.
Because dad's such a jerk, I can't even spend the holidays with my true love. I think that guy is looking at me. If he wants an autograph, he should just ask! I appreciate all my fans. I hope they all know that. I'm sure they do. Some of them are losers, but they all look up to me. God, I hope dad doesn't escalate things again in front of everyone. He's becoming a drunk. He's going to get on his high horse again and tell me I can't possibly be a good christian because I'm gay. He knows I don't even care. He just wants an excuse to berate me in front of company. So he can sound like he was right about something. “I knew you were gay. All that leather. That wasn't heavy metal, that was all your gay.” Well, I don't have to put up with his shit! I'm the Metal God for pete's sake! I guess that is kind of blasphemous. He's such a fucking jerk. I can't wait to shove him into a retirement home.
Is that stewardess- I mean flight attendant looking at me? Is she smiling? Somebody probably told her who I am. She's probably just being polite. Girls don't listen to metal. Except slutty girls. Man, girls are so gross. How do they walk around with that gross... leaking... blech!
Mom's right about dad; he just hates that he was wrong about my career. “You'll never go anywhere screamin' at the top of your lungs like a girl! You should take up a real job, like tile!” I sure showed him! Four-octaves showed him! HA! I wish I could have seen his face the first time we went platinum. Nothing's ever good enough for him. Even buying them a house didn't help, although i really just did that for mom. Well- and also so I didn't have to sleep in my stupid old high school room. Or on the couch. Or in a hotel.
I know what I'll do. If dad just starts in with his anti-gay shit, I'll sing a really high note and really belt it out and hold it! Then I'll just tell everyone I was practicing or showing off or something. They'll probably all applaud! That'll shut him up. Mom's always proud of my singing. If she hadn't signed me up for choir in middle school, who knows where I'd be? I'd probably be at Dad's tile business. I'd be a floor manager or something. For tile. That would be horrible. Ok, that guy's tilting his sunglasses down and looking at me. Is he winking? Wow. What a douche-bag. I should flip him off. That would be so metal. I really should. Right now. I should just flip him off. And glare at him. And maybe stick my tongue out. I'm glad I'm only staying in town for three days. Oh good, we're landing.
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